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The World's Greatest Resume
How the F#%k Did I End Up Here?! Confused in Afghanistan, drunk in Paris, broke in Casablanca, horrified in India, attacked on Gibraltar, adrift on the Arabian sea, and other true tales of a clueless traveler.

Grandiose buildings, natural wonders, and cruise lines are all well and good, but I prefer the more unexpected when I travel; the kind of events that elicit a “Did that really happen?!” or “How the f**k did I end up here?!” response.

I often travel solo simply because it's difficult to find a traveling companion with the same Let's see what's down this road attitude. Sometimes, when you set out alone with no plan or objectives, delightful things happen: you meet wonderful people and see incredible sights and have truly memorable adventures; you sleep 50 yards from Stonehenge under a full moon, relax for hours in front of the Taj Mahal, or share tea with smiling Arabs.

And sometimes, you end up in a remote village hospital after crashing your motorcycle in the Italian Alps, or find yourself stranded in north Africa with $4.00 in your pocket and no way home, or an farmer's amorous daughter shows up late-night in the barn that her parents were nice enough to allow you to crash in, or nice Afghan peasants are kind and helpful to you because you seem lost on the other side of the world (and you are).

I've always been impulsive. My best reason for traveling to a particular place is simply, I've never been there; think I'll go and see what it's all about. So I pick up and go, generally with little money but lots of optimism. Sometimes things turn out strangely (as in the following stories) but I find that infinitely better than guided tours and free buffets.

I wrote the following stories solely for my own pleasure over the past 20 years or so, often when suffering from writer's block while trying to finish one of my “normal” books (my agent screaming at me, “Enough with the silly travel stories, you've got a deadline!”) I wrote them just to help me remember some wonderfully wacky or weird event during my travels. But it turns out I didn't need to—some events are unforgettable. Available as eBook only at, for iPad, Kindle and Nook. Coming soon as paperback.

Mr. Bear & The RocketmanMr. Bear & The Rocketman
After our best friend Bear's rear legs became paralyzed, our vet suggested we might consider putting him down. We couldn't, of course'not without giving our all to try to nurse him back to health'he was, after all, the best dog in the world and our first born.

So JoBelle and I more than willingly spent the summer trying to get him to take his pills, shuttling him back and forth to physical therapy, and lifting him up (he couldn't stand on his own) five times a day so he could 'do his business' and all the rest. As the weeks crawled by we felt sorry for our second born, Rocky the Rocketman, for all the attention we were giving to Bear. He seemed depressed with the sudden lack of attention. But he was such a sweet dog, we knew he would come to understand as we pampered Bear endlessly. Everything would be back to normal soon. The pack would be back.

We perked up a bit when Rocky seemingly discovered if he climbed into Bear's 'sick bed' and lay along side of him, he would garner more attention and better food. So clever, we thought until he started to behave strangely and a scan detrmined he had advanced cancer. He died three days later.

'But what about me?!' was all I could think he was trying to cry out as he was dying without the special love and care he deserved at a time like that. 'But what about me?!' as we catered to Bear's every need. 'But what about me?!' as lay on the sick bed, 'I'm sick too, can't you see?'

Bear didn't make it either. It was a long, hot, very sad summer.

I started a journal that first day when we returned from the hospital and carried Bear into the house. I found I needed a place to help me collect and record my thoughts. After our friends passed on, quiet overtook our house and I couldn't read it. I put it away and it sat neglected for two years. But I'm ready now and I've started writing.